Don't delete your social media accounts
If you're tempted to, Digital Minimalism might be the answer
It’s strange to launch a new column with a post about the joys of not posting. On March 5, 2024, when I—along with 500,000+ Facebook users and 70,000+ Instagram users—was kicked off both platforms, I had a fleeting sense of joy. Wouldn’t that be great if they were gone? I thought. Then I’d have a valid excuse for my sporadic posts. And when they both came back up, I thought, Wouldn’t it be great to pretend they hadn’t?
So, I did.
Other than the rare occasion when I’ve had to, I haven’t really been on social media since then. During my time away, I pondered, Why do I dread being on social media?
Digital Minimalism has the answer
In Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, author Cal Newport sums it up in one word: Exhaustion. Apparently, many of the readers of his first book, Deep Work, felt exhausted by modern digital life. They were exhausted by all the different digital options vying for their attention and manipulating their mood.
While that word perfectly explained my feeling about social media, those weren’t my reasons for feeling exhausted. My friend, Leigh Michaels, offered an answer.
"You feel exhausted," she said, "because it's never done."
Just as I finish one email, ten more have arrived, adding to the 33,837—the actual number, as of right now—unread. Just as I've finished reading, commenting, or liking one friend's post, dozens more are waiting. And after I've finally managed to write a post of my own, an infinite number remain to be written.
So she's right. I will never, ever be able to say, "Social media? Done!"
Like the book title suggests, Newport’s solution is digital minimalism.
Digital Minimalism
A philosophy of technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value, and then happily miss out on everything else.
Start with a digital declutter
The first step in adopting this philosophy is a 30-day digital declutter, where you step away from non-critical technology (i.e., websites, emails, apps, social accounts, texting, streaming services, etc.) and figure out or rediscover the offline things you find satisfying and meaningful. Then, after 30 days, you can reintroduce non-essential technologies into your life, as long as they add value and you've determined how you'll use them to maximize the value.
Unfortunately, I’d stumbled upon Newport’s book 45 days into my let’s-pretend-social-media-doesn’t-exist fantasy and at the tail end of my 24-hour-Hulu-binge-marathon.
So, I hit Pause and considered my actions.
Apparently:
Procrastination was a value I held deeply. (No surprise there)
Binge-watching was a “critical” technology.
Binge-watching two seasons of Abbott Elementary over the weekend when I had a presentation due on Monday maximized this value wonderfully.
I shut down Hulu and finished reading Newport’s book.
Spending quality time offline
Newport has some helpful tips on what to do during your 30-day digital declutter. For example, spend time alone. He uses Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin, authors of Lead Yourself First, to emphasize that being alone is not merely separating yourself from others. It's "about what's happening in your brain, not the environment around you." Or, more specifically when "your mind is free from input from other minds."
I used to love being alone with my thoughts. But Newport made me realize how rarely I am now. I listen to audiobooks when I’m cooking or walking my dog, Bally. I call friends or family whenever I have to drive more than 30 minutes. I text or scroll through a feed while standing in line. I listen to music while mowing the lawn. I fall asleep to a podcast playing on my phone. It’s okay to do these things sometimes.
But ... all the time? No. It’s like I’m looking for ways to avoid my thoughts.
“...when you avoid solitude, you miss out on the positive things it brings you: the ability to clarify hard problems, to regulate your emotions, to build moral courage, and to strengthen relationships.”
To maximize your quality alone time, Newport recommends leaving your cell phone at home (or in the car) during errands, writing letters to yourself or taking walks (again, without your cell phone) for problem-solving, self-reflection, clarity, working through emotions, or simple gratitude.
Another idea I liked was Newport’s suggestion of finding “high-quality” ways to spend your time, such as adding structure to your social time. For example, taking an exercise class with a friend and encouraging each other or joining a book club to exchange ideas. His suggestion to fix or build something every week for six weeks hadn’t occurred to me. Nor had creating a seasonal plan using that skill so that by the end of the season, you’ll be well on your way to mastering it.
The importance of this is that when your 30-days are up, you’re new—or rediscovered—interest in high-quality activities will reduce your indulgence in mindless swiping or addictive technology time-wasters.
Return to social media energized
Sure, a lot of his suggestions are common sense. But the strength of Newport’s book is that by guiding you through the-step-by-step process, he causes you to think about why you use digital technology, to become aware of your knee-jerk reaction to mindlessly use it, to revisit your values to determine how digital technology aligns with them and then to refocus your use of it.
I thought back to when I actually enjoyed being online. It was when I was running my online Finding Derek Contest, where hunky guys were competing to be the hero of my romance novel. It was after I’d launched my Chase the Dream Contest with Leigh Michaels and the New York agents and editors I’d recruited to be judges, represented and awarded book deals to some of the winners. It was when my nonprofit sponsored the Hip History Contest and talented middle school and high school winners won scholarships.
In all these examples, I liked social media because I was adding value—and adding value is one of my key values.
So now, I’m excited to be back online. Because I’m excited about this new column, Reading with Rachelle, where we’ll explore the books filled with history we weren’t taught in school—but wish we had. I’m excited to be back to adding value.
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You added value indeed. Loved the reading!